too old to get too drunk

I don't know why I don't or can't just learn my lesson... What is wrong with me? I cannot go out and imbibe copious amounts of alcohol when I haven't eaten anything all day (even if I have, too). Now I have no idea how I got home, a graze on my hand and knee and bruises... maybe I got Rohypnol'd. Maybe I should just grow the fuck up.