Waiting and waiting (in vain for your love?)

I feel like I am always just waiting for my life to begin... waiting for money, for my degree to end and I can start my career, for when I move out. God, I am so bored of waiting. On a different note, I mostly wanted to moan about someone who drinks too much, does irresponible things and then worres about them, asks my opinion and gets surprised when I say that she acted irresponsibly. Or gets annoyed when I shrug and say OK. Bloody people. I can't wait for this all to be over, one way or another.
I don't feel well and it's Christmas in less than a week. I am doing all of the cooking for my family so I'd better get better!
Also, I cannot wait for my credit card to get here so I can actually buy what I need for Christmas. Man, I wish I had money...

one more moan on this beautiful Sunday

I am not psychic. I am bored of asking 'how high?' when you tell me to jump. I am sick of being reliant on you all for money. Stupid me for becoming a student. I am tired of always having to back down and be always being on your side, or your side or your side. I would like to be on my side. Which is no side at all. You're all wrong. I am sorry that sometimes I am thoughtless because I have an awful lot going on in my head. I am not feeling sorry for myself and I do not want to cry. I am not sad. I am merely frustrated that I have to constantly tip-toe on egg shells all of the time and yet if I am feeling sad or tearful or anxious or like crying, I am being melodramatic. And a troublemaker. And don't accuse me of not caring for our dogs. I do. I stress out. I take them to the vet. I complain to the vet about poor service. I trek to and fro across London. I may not have paid completely for things, but, trust me, I have paid.

So, shaddap. Stop fucking griping and guilt-tripping and moaning. And arguing.

I shouldn't be judgemental

but I don't like it when people cheapen themselves, know that I won't and don't approve and expect something more friendly than 'ok, well that was a bit cheap, wasn't it?' as a reply to their sordid, drunken fumblings.
This is my message to you Rudy:
I thought more of you than that, is all, I guess. I thought you of all people would not behave in a manner that you chastise others for behaving in and you can justify it all you like. I am not the one to judge you, you can do that all on your own. I just don't understand. I don't care how drunk, stoned or tired (or needy) you were. I don't care that you did it (I sure have heard worse) I just care that you felt the need to tell me, in the way that you did, like I cared and THEN got a bit annoyed that I had nothing to say in response to your big, grand revelation. Grow up. That's my advice. Grow up and concentrate on getting your degree. Stop drinking so much and getting yourself into situations that you are uncomfortable with. Your latest Facebook update was another thinly veiled cryptic message about regretful shenanigans. I dread to ask, so I won't. After all, I have an essay to write. See? Priorities. Dumbo!

How I Wasted Reading Week and how it all went wrong

Not only have I done no work, no reading, no planning and no dissertation stuff but I have now got a massive cut on my right thumb. OUCH! Being right-handed is at my disadvantage for the moment.
I am sure that my 2 assignments due on Tuesday will be done, after all they are only 2,500 words (altogether!). I shall be fine.
I worry too much. About time, money, the dogs, my thumb (although only since yesterday), my parents, my brothers, my future, my love life...
I need to take Valium perhaps.
The Apprentice is on so I shall watch that, then American Dad, then eat a biscuit then go to sleep, then wake up, trek to Mile End, attend lecture and seminar then DO SOME FUCKING WORK, then relax... It's a lot to get through.

3rd year, which is 4th year of my 5 year plan. Got that?

So, week 5 begins tomorrow and I am getting all antsy as usual. I shall, one day, when all of this is behind me, finally be calm about everything. I may go eat some biscuits.
I am supposed to have read the novel Wieland by tomorrow, The Years by Tuesday and Hetty Feather by Thursday. Think I'll just read the end of Wieland...
Or I may go eat some biscuits instead.

Not even 1:30am and I am tired

I am finally to leave the house tomorrow... 48 hours indoors and several batches of Rice Krispie cakes are enough to drive anyone up the freaking wall. I am seriously considering selling all of my possessions in an attempt to have a little bit of spending money.
Am having a mini-solo party in my room at the moment, watching an episode of League of Gentleman that was on about 2 days ago. And they say we have more choice nowadays!! Liars!
I need a life.

Neck ache and loose wires

So, I really don't have anything at all to write about as I have no thoughts. I really need to go back to school or something. I am so bored... ugh!
I absolutely, positively cannot wait for my student loan payment, but I have to wait. Until the 23rd, so just under 3 weeks. COME ON!
I have finally got a C grade for mathematics GCSE so my 5 year plan is still right on track. Thank the gods of any and all descriptions.
My eyes are really rubbish and I am getting an eye-test as soon as I get money. I am thinking of getting prescription sunglasses, which will be very novel, if a little late for this year, the sun has already given up... tut!